No. 757: Salandit

Did you ever have a friend who wouldn't shut up about the Scoville Scale and put habanero on everything? Didn't you want to punch him in the face? Discuss.

Salandit is a sly-ass bitch with a unique typing and a pretty slick design. I dig the way the red part lights up when she spits fire. Those eyes are great, too. You can just tell she's a cocky asshole who knows she's the baddest bitch in town. And I do choose my swears wisely - the male Salandit is a worthless, lazy, shiftless bum who doesn't have his life in order and won't even evolve.

Also, for added insanity, the Pokedex says they can emit pheromones that attract males of any species, and it goes out of its way to specify that yes, even humans are included. I have no idea why this was needed to be a thing, but there it is. All you freaks drawing porn of Gardevoir getting nasty with Charizard or whatever, I think you've got a new mandate straight from Gamefreak - they want you to draw porn of this lizard. Of course, I don't want you to draw porn of this lizard. You didn't hear that from me. But I think the Pokedex makes its implications pretty clear.

But really, Salandit is the Pokemon equivalent of chugging a gallon of Popeyes' Sweet Heat sauce - spicy, probably poisonous, and oh-so-good.


Overall: 10/10

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