No. 771: Pyukumuku

sea cucumbers are proof that God didn't really know what he was doing
I think Pyukumuku is supposed to be cute, but it just looks like one of those shitty stuffed animals you find at craft fairs. Is it supposed to be a rabbit? A hedgehog? Some sort of aggressive pebble? Hard to tell, but the stuffing is already coming out of a burst seam! Quick, buy it before the vendor gets insulted.

But no, it's supposed to be a sea cucumber, which means it throws up its guts as a defense mechanism. Now, me, I'd keep my guts inside, because I've always been taught those are important, but what do I know? Nature is disgusting and cruel, is the lesson here.

And the Pyukster here has another weird foible - it steadfastly refuses to learn a single damage-dealing move. This makes it very awkward to use in-game, though I'm sure it has some niche in the competitive scene. Not my jam, though.

The one redeeming feature of Pyukumuku is that instead of innards coming out its mouth/anus, a big beefy arm comes out Trogdor style. This is intensely hilarious and almost makes up for everything else. I am in love with the idea of a useless little lump who spits punches at people. I don't like anything else about this wretched puke, but the hidden muscular arm is JUST SO AWESOME, I gotta compromise.


Overall: 5/10

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